I still remember the day I lost a friend to suicide.
It was not just a moment in time. It was a crack that split open my world. And sadly, that was not the only time I have had to live through this kind of loss. Each time left its mark in a different way, and each time it reminded me how devastating and complicated suicide grief really is.
September is Suicide Awareness Month, and I want to share a piece of my story because I know what it is like to be left behind, and I know what it is like to keep going when you are not sure you can. But the truth is, this conversation does not end with September. October brings Mental Illness Awareness Week and World Mental Health Day, reminding us that mental health and suicide prevention need our voices all year long.
My Story and Why I Share It
Back then, I was not a clinical hypnotherapist. I was a young woman carrying trauma, grief, and a lot of unanswered questions. Losing people I loved to suicide pushed me to face truths I had been running from. It was a turning point, even if I did not recognize it at the time.
Years later, I shared my journey in an international bestselling book. My chapter, Streetwise and Soul Led: From Surviving to Rewiring, tells how I went from barely surviving to learning how to heal, rewire, and reclaim my life. Writing that story was not easy, but it mattered. I know what it is like to live in pain, and I know what it is like to come out the other side.
The Unique Grief of Suicide Loss
The grief that follows suicide is not like other losses. It has a different weight, and psychologically it can really disrupt your mind. It does not just feel heavy. It feels confusing, relentless, and at times impossible to untangle.
This is what some call complicated grief. The loss does not fit into the normal stages of mourning. It shows up as shock, guilt, blame, intrusive thoughts, and the endless what ifs. It can hijack your nervous system and make it hard to trust your own mind.
Even when grief feels this complicated, healing is still possible. Understanding that this kind of grief is different helps you give yourself more compassion, more patience, and more room to heal.
The Impact on Those Left Behind
Suicide does not just end one life. It leaves ripples of devastation in families, friendships, and communities. If you have lost someone, you might know the guilt, the anger, and the what ifs that can eat at you. You might replay conversations or wonder if you missed a sign. The truth is, you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. The silence after a suicide can feel deafening, but you do not have to sit in that silence alone.
For the Ones Who Are Contemplating
If you are reading this and you are in that dark space where you are wondering if your life matters, hear me now. You matter. Your presence changes the people around you even when you cannot see it. The world is better with you in it. The pain you feel is not permanent, even if it feels like it is. Please reach out to someone you trust, a professional, or a support service in your area. You are not alone.
Healing Is Possible
I built my career in hypnotherapy because I know firsthand that the brain and body hold on to pain, but they can also learn new patterns of peace. Hypnotherapy is not magic, but it can help shift the weight of grief, trauma, and hopelessness that lives deep inside. It helped me, and now I help others.
If you are in Calgary, you can find me as Shannon Shade, Clinical Hypnotherapist. If you are anywhere else in the world, I also work online. Together we can work on anxiety, trauma, grief, and the patterns that keep you stuck.
You Are Not Alone
September reminds us to talk openly about suicide, not just to raise awareness, but to offer real help and hope. And as October reminds us through Mental Illness Awareness Week and World Mental Health Day, this is not a one-month conversation. Awareness and healing matter every day of the year.
If you are grieving after suicide or carrying thoughts of your own, please reach out to someone you trust. Or look into hotlines. There are people out there who really do want to help you. If you feel drawn to professional support, I am here as one option. You can connect with me here.
It is okay to shift the narrative and heal.
Author Bio
Shannon Shade, RCH, is a Registered Clinical Hypnotherapist based in Calgary and a two-time international bestselling author. She blends neuroscience, somatic tools, and imaginative hypnotherapy to help people heal from grief, trauma, anxiety, and loss. She works online and in person. Learn more at [https://shannonshypnotherapy.
